MUM, I LOVE YOU

I have been working lately so hard. I had wanted to go home this weekend to meet my daughter and son. I think they are terribly missing me. I called Betty this evening. Suprisingly, she was in a jolly mood.In some incidenences,when i take long without going home, she has that tendency of being moody.

Now, Iam coming into terms with what i heard from the BBC's Last Word, were a man resigned his job because he was tired of travelling several kilometres every day. He had wanted to be with his family.By that time, i thought, this is damm silly and pure madness. How can a man resign a well paying Job just to sit home watching his wife and children playing? This was unacceptable!!!

I knew a man must work harder and harder no matter what. And indeed, that is exactly, what iam doing- working over 12 hours a day. Now i am faced with a similar predicament of the guy who wrote his Last Word. True, i work hard but i can not even meet the basics.Where is all the money going? Iam always struggling to buy sugar, food, clothing for my son and daughter. I say, where is the money going? Besides, i miss my family so much. Now, shouldI RESIGN my job so that i play with the kids at home? The answer is no.

" Boy, you got to move on !!! There are many people out, who want your support. Think about you mum? Boy, you need to remain focused, determined and resilient, maybe one day LADY LUCK will come your way. Keep moving boy", the inner voice tells me. It is like i listen to this voice so much.

I have been reflecting andreflecting on these private issues lately. Then the worst nightmare is how i miss my mother. The last time, i went home to the village to see mum was in November,2007. I promised to continue to visit her but to date i have not. Iam begining to feel guilty especially when she sent my young cousin saying she is WEAK and SICK. I really felt the blow of a mother wanting to see her son. Mum, i love you so much. I have promised several times as far as i am STILL a live you will be leading some decent life. My sister passed away ten years ago and left mum with a paraylsed girl. The girl is now making twenty years. I think this could be one of those things now giving mum sleepless nights.

Again ever since, i begun contrusting for her a house in 2002, i have more or less failed to complete it. When i look at her old house built in 1966, i feel so sorry for mama despite all the challenges and sacrify she made to see her four children all go to school. She has toiled all her life so that, her children get a decent life. Here i am the so-called educated african boy, i can not even provide enough to mama. i feel i have betrayed her trust. i have failed to make her happy yet she has put much hope in me. When i reflect on some of these things, i t makes me feel sad.WHAT IS THE BEST WAY TO TELL MUM THANKYOU?

Maybe i should contact my friend again and receive some advise. Erica, if you are reading this blog, i need your assistance. Probably, it could not be material but spiritual and emotional support.

Guys, you have to bear with me i donot know what i am writing this evening. I am reflecting back on A PRIVATE MATTER and the challenges that we in the rural areas undergo. I could go on and on? How many of the poor are suffering and no body is coming to their rescue? I know , this era is not for blamism (i know this word does not exist in english). This is the time to face reality on the face squarely and agree that, we need better cooperations between the poor and rich. We need to put aside egoistic principles of capitalism, racism and live as one people in one planet.

America, America, America, brake the neck of this suffering. America, i say brake the york of world suffering. I know life is a sacrifce. How can we make the suffering be happy? How can we put a smile on the faces of mulnourished children? We are tired of being second class citizens on this planet.